Thursday, April 29, 2010
You know what? Let me just cruise through life.I will know how to remember the right memories, forget the painful ones. I will know how to cherish those I love. I will let myself go at one point of time.
I will let myself be sincere when I need to and when I get the chance to.Right now, I realise: "I'M NOT SCARED OF WHAT I FEEL. I'm scared of what YOU don't."This dawned on me after so much reflection. I really don't want history to repeat itself. Once bitten, twice shy.
"It doesn't seem right to hurt yourself. Its better to be safe."All my life, I've been thought to play safe. I admit, I'm not a risk taker. I'm always scared when the stake is too high. This is the problem I face.
BUT IT HAS CAUSED ME MUCH MORE HURT THAN JOY.My advice to people out there: Take the risk.For all you know, it might be worth it. If not, you still gain. The "faliure" becomes a learning point. A moment of realisation. As they say, there are no faliures-just learning experiences. And yes, this will take time to be instilled in your head.
Talking the talk is easier than walking the walk.But falling is a way for us to learn.There must be a balance of the good and bad in life. You can imagine: If someone was to get everything he/she wanted, he/she would be such an arrogant and egoistic person. On the other hand, if someone always had it bad, he/she will be contemplating on suicide right now. So if there is a balance between the good and bad in life, one would be well rounded. He would know how to pick himself up when he is down and he would know how not to hold his head up too high.
And despite all this, I know somehow, Iwon't have the guts to acomplish the task that I want to. Its hard. I won't lie coz I shouldn't and I really can't lie right now. This little space I have in the net. My only outlet to the world without being degraded by my parents. I know and understand them but, time are changing. I'm not THAT irresponsble to not prioritise. At least I'm no longer like that.
But how do I make this hint of love? And what more to the person who probably expects it the least for me to reflect his feelings?You know, the most amazing things can be the most complicated to understand. Love is a wonderful thing. Its how everyone came into the world. How we still have hope. But it really is a complicated thing. It won't be easy.
But I know one thing. ASAP♥ [Always Say A Prayer]
♥andrea♥P.S. I wish to talk to you real soon♥
♥My right to speak. My right to love♥ 4:27 PM
