Hello:)

Well, I'm like soo tired...
Today, we had circuit training with Mr Chan...
Did 3 sets...
eeeeeeeee......
I was sooo tired after that, but still, I was in a good mood:)
In guides, I was kinda hyper:)
Together with Amalina, we "entertained" the sec 1s...
hmmmmm...
Sing-a-long...whacko...flour-game...reflections...
Usuals...
And they want WATER-BOMB for next week's activity...
hhhhmmmm....
We'll see then:)

Oh yea, I really wanna say something out...
I feel so freaking pathetic....
I mean, up until now, I don't know what I'm feeling...
DAMN IT!!!!
And seriously, I wanna run to my bed and then start crying myself to sleep:(
I wanna do that now to comfort myself...
Why the hell am I so indecisive...
And no, I don't feel like crying coz of that issue...
No, no, no...
Its coz...
I feel so mean coz I'm such an irresponsible, fickle-minded, pathetic, and I wish that I can rewind time...
I feel so guilty that I've been such a "naughty" girl...
You know, I really haven't been at my tip-top condition for my spirituality side...
I slacked once in a while this year...
I shouldn't do it anymore...
I feel really bad and DOWN...
I don't know why...
Its like, I lack so much faith now-a-days that...I dunno...
I feel so heavy in the heart....
Damn it....
OMG....

This is such a long post....
Gosh..I wanna pray or do something soothing...

♥andrea♥

Hello to all:)

Yess, I know that my older post seemed so depressing and all that...
But yess, something happened that made me wanna change...
Golly gosh, I change my mind fast eh??

Anyway, a dream caused the whole turn in my heart.
Then I talked it out with friends...
Jannine was like "Oh my gosh...that's so sweet"
And I was like.."Err, sweet my foot...I'm gonna give up soon"

"YESSS!!! I'm gonna give up!!!
Its an endless and tiring game which I want out...
But of course...
Hais, the BUTs come in...
I might still continue if given a chance, but now, no, I don't want to fight in this battlefield."
This were the words in my mind as I explained things to Jannine:)

And when I found this fact to be more and more obvious in my heart, Jannine was like "touched" by it and soon her eyes were filled with tears-_-
Soon, I too, was overwhelmed by an unexplainable feeling in my heart and it poured out of my eyes...
And then the bell rang...
OMG...
That's the first time I ever cried over a guy...
Ok, maybe I didn't cry over a guy but its because of a guy that I cried...
Still counted...

I feel so stupid...

But I know that for now, if it isn't you, no one else can occupy this stupid heart of mine.
I'm so sorry if I'm boring you like hell.

But then, I found out something a little while ago....
Eeeeshhh...so complex....
That's love I guess...
I'm an idiot anyway...

♥andrea♥

Just great, I'm back at this poem once again...
Staring at it makes me feel somewhat better?
I dunno, but I can relate...
This is for HIM..
Not you, HIM...
Kasi lagi akong sabi ng sabi ng sana..
Kahit alam ko na hindi nga tayo puwede...
Ano ba ang problema ko?
Hindi ko rin yan alam...
To go very cliche...
The cause and cure is you...-_- [I think. But hope otherwise]

OMG....Today was a total mood swing kind of day...
I'm feeling so pathetic but I still want to talk about my day...

- Sleepy in the morning
- Happy during the 7.10am gathering:)
- Happy to announce the new prefects
- Laughed at Syafiq's reaction..[DAMN CUTE!!!]
- Stressed over surprise quiz...and it was not exactly a surprize...-_-
- Talked over PE Lesson [Mr Chan was not aroud^^V]
- Guys joined in the 'gossip' session soon-_-
- Planned what to do...[you know what rite??]
- Felt very bad...as in I feel like I was a very bad person..
- Felt so relieved and joyful...THANK YOU SOPHIE!!!
- Went out to buy lunch with Geraldine and Eliana after school:)
- Had guides introduction...
- Talked more and more about boring stufffs with the sec ones...
- Played games and strained my voice...Got totally pissed in the proccess...
- Scolded people...
- Felt like they deserved it but I feel bad...
- More drama...
- Went home!!!

Ok, I'm so freaking sorry....
Today, I've been feeling sorry for so many things!!!
And not only that, I'm freaking tired!!!

Sorry to hurt people..
Sorry for not being tactful when I was doing some stuffs yesterday...
Sorry for being so immature...
Sorry for digging out my feelings of the past...
Sorry for really not being able to imagine things that way...
Sorry to scold people I care about...
Sorry to have lost my temper over....nevermind that...
Sorry for going overboard...
Sorry that I am a fickle-minded person...

I don't mean to but, I'M SOOOO SORRY!!!


Why do things have to be this way in my heart?
Why can't I be more open and let go of the past??
Its 2010!!!
I promised to be good!!!
But no, I had to let my emotions take over me once again...
Its been 2 freaking years!!!
But I'm trying, once again to seal this...
No, its not like I want to repeat a so-called mistake...
Was it even a mistake to like someone who liked you back but not tell them?
Maybe the not telling them part...
But it might have been for the better...
Its my graduating year, and if this stupid feeling in my heart will cause me to go astray like last year, no way can I let that happen...
I know, and I admit, I still have feelings for you SOMEHOW...
And as Sophia said, I have THE RIGHT to fall for him...AGAIN....
Our english lessons have caused me to think...
Its damn hard to let go...
And, I hate the NEW YOU...
I look for the one I fell for everytime I see you...
Its there sometimes...
But more than often, I can't see it in your eyes...
Just coldness and a freaking JERK...
I'll never know now right...?

♥andrea♥

I found out something that people said I shouldn't have,
I discovered something that someone wants to keep from me,
I verified something that I suspected for a while,
I understood something that maybe I should have not known.

Whatever it is,
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ^_~V

♥andrea♥

Hello:)

UPDATES:

-Forgot about bio test which was fortunately postponed
-Received a lot of homework, learnt lots of new things...
-Stayed back in school everyday until at least 5.30pm-_- [yay]
-Got pissed off by some people....NICE-_-
-Comforted some people....
-Struggled to hand in homework on time
-Stayed till 7.20pm on Thursday and Friday...
-Hand turned reddish pink because of rope burns:( [but it got better soon enough]
-Came late to school just now, came at 7.20am...REALLY SORRY:(
-Got and did some scolding...
-Went home

yess, its been really busy for me this week...
I feel so weary somehow and yet, I wanna finish my work.
I know, when you're weary, why do you want to finish your work?
but yess, I want to finish them.
I hated it when I always rushed to meet deadlines last year.
I promised myself not to mess things up this year.
I won't. Cross my heart and hope to die.

Anyways, pic of today and some from the days before are on facebook:)
Look there if you want coz I'm feeling kinda lazy to post pics now:)

♥andrea♥

P.S. Structured remedials starts next week-_- blog is still prophicised to be dead for another week or so....

Hello!!!

Next week, busy week...
Like duh!!!!

Structured remedials are 'rumored' to be starting around next week...
Staying back every single day to prepare for the beloved CCA Orientation...
Busy, busy, busy...

Blog, PROPHESIED to be dead for the week:)

I'll be off to do more work, TATA!! ^^V

♥andrea♥

Hello:)

Well, first two days of school and I'm bushed:(
Maybe its due to this morning's incident...
I suddenly feel soo burdened:(

But it'll pass, I guess...

The first piece of work given for the year was Ms Gina's surprize quiz...
no comments...
Then today, I realized that I have loads to memorize/recap...
Biology, chemistry, physics, social studies, geography..
I feel a rush to put every little detail into my head:(
Tuition was as usual yesterday...

Anyway, whole lot of things to do....
Teachers of the prefectorial board add on and makes things a whole lot worse...
I never understand who the hell to follow...
Its like one teacher will instruct one thing but the other gives a totally contrdicting instruction!!!
DAMN...

There's still thinking day preps coming up...
Also not forgetting CCA orientation>.<
And to Sophie, dun forget CNY-_-
Can we seriously back out?
I really don't think I can manage all these at one shot...
Whatever it is, I know I won't update with much elaboration anymore...
Maybe I'll post up pics like of Guides activities and other stuffs...
But I think this would be one of my last wordy post till after Os:(

So toodles now:)

♥andrea♥

P.S. 294 more days till the 'O' Levels

1 day, a man was crossing a bridge with God.

He was kind of scared, so he asked God,
"Can I hold your hand so that I won't fall into the river?"

Then God said,
"No child. I should hold your hand"

He didn't understand and asked what the difference was.

God said,
"There's a big difference. If you hold my hand and something happens to you, chances are that you might let go. But if I hold your hand, you know for sure that whatever happens, I'll never let go."

Let God hold your hand as you walk through life.
You might let go sometimes, but his grip will never slip.

A blessed 2010 everyone!!! :)

♥andrea♥

For now, this would be my blog skin:) Hope you guys enjoy your stay ♥

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