♥

“It's possible to go on, no matter how impossible it seems, and that in time, the grief . . . lessens. It may not go away completely, but after a while it's not so overwhelming”
NICHOLAS SPARKS-DEAR JOHN

Yes, there are times when things seem almost impossible to forget.
But I know that one day will come when thigs are "Not so overwhelming"

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I was falling asleep just now during the tagalog service.
I guess that the week has really worn me out.
I feel so tired and I'm dreading the fact that there's a test tomorrow.
I have yet to study...
Geez, I migh flunk it...
But honestly, I don't have energy left in me to do anything productive.
Only good point of the day:
I was able to play the guitar and kinda relax myself:)
And now, I look like some bob-idiot...
The irritating guy from the salon went to cut my hair so short!!!
Gawd...
I asked him to layer and cut like 1cm or so...
I think he went to cut half an inch!!
DAMN...
Whatever it is...
have a great day:)

♥andrea♥

Happiness:)

Today, I got some BIG NEWS...
Yess, it was a huge blow...
But The news would have to wait...

Anyways, it was an emotional ride for me today.
Yess, totally typical of a girl to have mood swings...
But today, it wasn't the cause of any hormones or chemical reactions in my body whatsoever..
Today, I was sooo...
Ugh...
I think I'd better not go into that...
Things may not look so good.

Anyways, today, we ran about 6 rounds around the school track
Thank God it was only 6 rounds and what more, on the school track!!!
Haha, but then I felt dizzy after that and wanted to puke my insides out.
And the best thing was, the next period was reccess followed by E.maths-_-
Speaking of which, I'm so gonna flunk my test...
I don't seem to remember anything once I see the paper..
Yess, reson why I joined that FB group..
My mind really does go blank...
Seesh...

Guides...
Well, the usual?
Had some rehersal with the scouts:)
THINKING DAY:(
My last and probably most memorable?
But ONCE A GUIDE, ALWAYS A GUIDE.

Anyways, I found something really worth saying today..
This is what happens when you're kinda bored and then start surfing the net for random stuffs...
I like to look around at quotes or sayings..
So here's one I found which I can totally relate to...

This also goes out to anyone upset now:) SMILE^V

Life is full of ups and downs. Spending 60 seconds being upset, angry, cross or mad is the same as losing one minute of happiness. So why not cherish what you have now and be happy? Life is afterall, too short to live in regrets. ♥♥

♥andrea♥

Calm & Cool

Today, I didn't feel angry.
No. Today, I was not furious.
Today , I was LIVID.
Yes, I was, and maybe still am, LIVID.

It'll be cheap for me to be cursing my heads off on my blog.
Yes, it will seem really trashy if I were to start putting on vulgarities in my post.
And, no, I will not say anything tawdry that might cause some people to choke.

And no, today, I will not obsess on things so much.
I just need to let THEM know a little something.

Its fine if you don't want to cooperate.
Its fine if you treat us like dafts.
But I honestly am telling you now that all this will lead up to a formidable ending that will just cause you to shoot your heads off.
Do not say that you never saw it coming.
You know very well what we feel. That everyone knows.
Just hope that it actually comes through to you.

.......................................................................................................

Tomorrw, A.Maths test..
Thursday, Geography test.
Friday, Emaths test.
Monday, Social Studies test.

No one can stop the strength I feel in me:)

♥andrea♥

The freaking guilt you feel...

Hello:)

Well, I'm like soo tired...
Today, we had circuit training with Mr Chan...
Did 3 sets...
eeeeeeeee......
I was sooo tired after that, but still, I was in a good mood:)
In guides, I was kinda hyper:)
Together with Amalina, we "entertained" the sec 1s...
hmmmmm...
Sing-a-long...whacko...flour-game...reflections...
Usuals...
And they want WATER-BOMB for next week's activity...
hhhhmmmm....
We'll see then:)

Oh yea, I really wanna say something out...
I feel so freaking pathetic....
I mean, up until now, I don't know what I'm feeling...
DAMN IT!!!!
And seriously, I wanna run to my bed and then start crying myself to sleep:(
I wanna do that now to comfort myself...
Why the hell am I so indecisive...
And no, I don't feel like crying coz of that issue...
No, no, no...
Its coz...
I feel so mean coz I'm such an irresponsible, fickle-minded, pathetic, and I wish that I can rewind time...
I feel so guilty that I've been such a "naughty" girl...
You know, I really haven't been at my tip-top condition for my spirituality side...
I slacked once in a while this year...
I shouldn't do it anymore...
I feel really bad and DOWN...
I don't know why...
Its like, I lack so much faith now-a-days that...I dunno...
I feel so heavy in the heart....
Damn it....
OMG....

This is such a long post....
Gosh..I wanna pray or do something soothing...

♥andrea♥

Overwhelming stupidity

Hello to all:)

Yess, I know that my older post seemed so depressing and all that...
But yess, something happened that made me wanna change...
Golly gosh, I change my mind fast eh??

Anyway, a dream caused the whole turn in my heart.
Then I talked it out with friends...
Jannine was like "Oh my gosh...that's so sweet"
And I was like.."Err, sweet my foot...I'm gonna give up soon"

"YESSS!!! I'm gonna give up!!!
Its an endless and tiring game which I want out...
But of course...
Hais, the BUTs come in...
I might still continue if given a chance, but now, no, I don't want to fight in this battlefield."
This were the words in my mind as I explained things to Jannine:)

And when I found this fact to be more and more obvious in my heart, Jannine was like "touched" by it and soon her eyes were filled with tears-_-
Soon, I too, was overwhelmed by an unexplainable feeling in my heart and it poured out of my eyes...
And then the bell rang...
OMG...
That's the first time I ever cried over a guy...
Ok, maybe I didn't cry over a guy but its because of a guy that I cried...
Still counted...

I feel so stupid...

But I know that for now, if it isn't you, no one else can occupy this stupid heart of mine.
I'm so sorry if I'm boring you like hell.

But then, I found out something a little while ago....
Eeeeshhh...so complex....
That's love I guess...
I'm an idiot anyway...

♥andrea♥

Impossible wish..

Just great, I'm back at this poem once again...
Staring at it makes me feel somewhat better?
I dunno, but I can relate...
This is for HIM..
Not you, HIM...
Kasi lagi akong sabi ng sabi ng sana..
Kahit alam ko na hindi nga tayo puwede...
Ano ba ang problema ko?
Hindi ko rin yan alam...
To go very cliche...
The cause and cure is you...-_- [I think. But hope otherwise]

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?
You fall deeper with each passing day,
But try to hide it in every possible way.
He's only a friend, and nothing else--
That's the lie you keeping telling yourself.
You keep on saying he's just a bud,
But deep inside, you're falling in love.
You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,
But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.
A simple glance turns into a stare,
But you pretned that you don't care.
It's "not right" for you two to be.
Is that why you hide it so no one can see?
But how long will you pretend?
Keep lying that he's just a friend?
Perhaps your feelings you can never show.
Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.
You know he's happy with love and bliss,
So being his girl is an impossible wish...

♥andrea♥

Mood swings the whole day...SORRY-_-

OMG....Today was a total mood swing kind of day...
I'm feeling so pathetic but I still want to talk about my day...

- Sleepy in the morning
- Happy during the 7.10am gathering:)
- Happy to announce the new prefects
- Laughed at Syafiq's reaction..[DAMN CUTE!!!]
- Stressed over surprise quiz...and it was not exactly a surprize...-_-
- Talked over PE Lesson [Mr Chan was not aroud^^V]
- Guys joined in the 'gossip' session soon-_-
- Planned what to do...[you know what rite??]
- Felt very bad...as in I feel like I was a very bad person..
- Felt so relieved and joyful...THANK YOU SOPHIE!!!
- Went out to buy lunch with Geraldine and Eliana after school:)
- Had guides introduction...
- Talked more and more about boring stufffs with the sec ones...
- Played games and strained my voice...Got totally pissed in the proccess...
- Scolded people...
- Felt like they deserved it but I feel bad...
- More drama...
- Went home!!!

Ok, I'm so freaking sorry....
Today, I've been feeling sorry for so many things!!!
And not only that, I'm freaking tired!!!

Sorry to hurt people..
Sorry for not being tactful when I was doing some stuffs yesterday...
Sorry for being so immature...
Sorry for digging out my feelings of the past...
Sorry for really not being able to imagine things that way...
Sorry to scold people I care about...
Sorry to have lost my temper over....nevermind that...
Sorry for going overboard...
Sorry that I am a fickle-minded person...

I don't mean to but, I'M SOOOO SORRY!!!

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Why do things have to be this way in my heart?
Why can't I be more open and let go of the past??
Its 2010!!!
I promised to be good!!!
But no, I had to let my emotions take over me once again...
Its been 2 freaking years!!!
But I'm trying, once again to seal this...
No, its not like I want to repeat a so-called mistake...
Was it even a mistake to like someone who liked you back but not tell them?
Maybe the not telling them part...
But it might have been for the better...
Its my graduating year, and if this stupid feeling in my heart will cause me to go astray like last year, no way can I let that happen...
I know, and I admit, I still have feelings for you SOMEHOW...
And as Sophia said, I have THE RIGHT to fall for him...AGAIN....
Our english lessons have caused me to think...
Its damn hard to let go...
And, I hate the NEW YOU...
I look for the one I fell for everytime I see you...
Its there sometimes...
But more than often, I can't see it in your eyes...
Just coldness and a freaking JERK...
I'll never know now right...?

♥andrea♥